Repentance is a daunting thing, something that seems almost impossible to achieve for those of us who have walked the road of truly evil things. How do we find the strength to let go of those things that haunt our souls? How do we let in the healing strength to be redeemed first from ourselves and then by those we love? How do we find the strength to ask for forgiveness? Because the longer we hide our inequities the longer they tear at our souls. Proverbs says: “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
There have been many ugly thing’s, atrocity’s I have committed during my years of addiction, things I wish to have stayed buried forever, though keeping them hide only made me sicker inside, this secret that tore at me daily trying to remember what I said last to whom. This charade made my life even more tiring then the life I was living and I couldn’t stand the grip it had on me any longer. Without exposing these things, much like the step of making amends that is quoted in the big books of AA and NA we can not grow. You have heard the old adage; we’re only as sick as our secrets. Yes I suppose there may be some things that are better left unsaid to some, but for my own well being and yours as well I hope, you will share this burden, if only to your higher power. Because it is in this sharing that you will find the strength to let go of that hold on your soul that haunts you late at night.
By letting go of the past, it frees us to move into a new light, a new joy and happiness. These are the hopes and dreams we have carried for so very long, this serenity in your soul is obtainable, if you search for it and believe you deserve to receive it, this Redemption from our past is possible and calling to God to fill our hearts with joy and gladness we can once again have good things in our lives, a peace where those burdens of the past are no longer carried within us, as it serves no good purpose any more. So let go and let God… embrace a new life share your pains and joys, let in the light so it may shine out of you, onto others.