Just take it all away!

Addiction is the disease that destroys everything in it’s path, you and the people who love you. It takes from everyone who cares for or tries to help the addict, as most of us in active addiction do not care about anything but using at the cost to others if need be. I to had these selfish behaviors and though I did a great job supporting my own habit, it was still hard for my family who only wanted me home caring for them. So I begged the Lord…

As I laid in the sand one day after coming out of a seizure brought on by excessive amounts drugs that I had been using at the time. And as I laid there in the heat of the early morning sun, I begged God to just take it all away, that I was tired of the life I was living and didn’t want to continue on anymore.  I could barely get to my feet as this had been one of the most severe overdoses to date and my body was in terrible pain from the convulsions during the fit. My tongue was bleeding from where I bit it and I needed some water. Again I begged for help…

The Lord did answer my cry for a way out of this life, see I had run from the inpatient program I had been court ordered to about 3 months prior. It required 6 months intensive rehab or 1 year in jail. Obviously because it was court ordered, jail was going to be my only option once I was caught again. And so it would be, and a month later off to jail for the last time I went, broken ribs and all. Right back into the jailhouse rehab program I’d attended on other stay’s through the years. So I begged again…

Lord please take this from me, I don’t want my 40’s to be a repeat of the last decade of my life. And I was granted thru Faith and tears my reprieve…. I listened, interacted with those coming to share the message and worked thru much of the anger I had, from the abuse I suffered for years. Completing the program, I begged one more time….

That I never lose what was given to me in my time of need and a promise to carry on the message that was so freely given to me. So here I am today, 15 years of sobriety trying to do just  that… so I beg once more…

Find strength in recovery and embrace the Gift of life. The work to get there is so worth every struggle you will have to take and the rewards are beyond what I can express. Loving yourself and believing in yourself is key, forgiveness of self and the life we once lived is mandatory for complete transformation to your new life. Enjoy the new you , because you earned it. Rose

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