Addiction is the most horrific thing anyone can endure, it steals from us our family and friends, it’s grip is all consuming and there’s nothing it won’t make us do to satisfy it’s need, we will steal from or hurt anyone who tries to get in our way, and from getting to our drugs.
If we have found a way to let go of the chains that bound us and we are able to free ourselves from its grip, beware as it patiently await’s for us to have that moment of weakness or self-doubt to pull us back in. Addiction has no conscious or sense of time always ready with a warm embrace to trick you into believing that “just one time” won’t hurt anything, that we have it under control because you have been clean for awhile now. But this is the biggest Lie of all…
So hold strong in your recovery whether it has been a day or years or anywhere in between, because once we have been effected by its grip, we must always stand on guard to protect ourselves from its Deathly hold.
Be a warrior today and believe in yourself and your self-worth to enjoy the freedom of life in the recovery that you have fought so hard to achieve, without allowing the crippling hands of addiction to ever creep back in.
Fears; something we all deal with in many forms, these can be the fears as a child scared of the noises in the dark and shadows on the wall. They can be fears of being successful and not living up to the expectations of others or ourselves, based on the expectations of the list of things society says we should maintain.
Fears lie in those dark places of self esteem within, they also lie to us telling us we are not strong enough to overcome them as they slowly beat us down. Most of us, I believe live in this fear because we trust in this lie that we can’t overcome and we keep allowing the use of substances to give us the strength we are searching for to lose this irrational fear.
It does take time to work through these things and I’m not saying your weak or unable to fight back against it, I’m saying…
You can fight it back, the fear of being a new person in recovery I think is the biggest struggle we all face. I know it was for me, a torturous life I had lived, family dysfunction added to my lack of self-worth, years of addiction, criminal activity and a record that would leave the most seasoned criminal envious, I had to live down society and what they saw or said about me for many years. Leaving me to fear I would never overcome it.
But look at me now with all I have been blessed with, mainly my new life and recovery of 15 years. It took time, but I took each fear one at a time and today I can stand here and tell you that recovery works and the past will be forgotten by all, in time.
Best of everything today and blessings. Rose 💗🌺
Regrets are sometimes self-destructive and other time’s can be our biggest catalyst forward, as we invest our energy into this feeling it brings many other questions along with it like; “How did I ever let thing’s get so bad?”
Regrets for me are many as I remember day’s of the past and if only I had done this or that differently, I would never have been in that relationship or fallen in with that crowd, maybe my family would be okay if only…
Today I must acknowledge that I can not undo what has been and work with all I have in me to help reshape those thing’s I now have influence over. I can go forward with my head held high and know that I am not who I once was and yes some days it’s much harder than it seems. But it’s okay because the girl I was back there long ago, is no longer and the girl I am today is filled with self-love and forgiveness.
I could dwell in the stigma of my past, allow all those heckling voice’s to trap me there, keep me sick and live in feelings of worthlessness and disgust or I can accept that it was a place in time that no longer serves me or the person I am now.
Life is to short to live in regret of what can not ever change, no matter how much we wish we could, all those mistakes I made I can only use as a learning tool and not repeat it again. I can today Love myself, enjoy my future and try the best I possibly can to live the life of Serenity I deserve. Rose