Be Proud of the new You!

Recovery takes courage to accomplish it in the first place. Overcoming all the pain and self-doubt about many things, for me it was mostly; was I worth it, could I do it and how do I start over?

I most definitely was worth it. So are you. Our past can no longer discern who we are, because in truth we are now a whole new person, made whole by all our hard work. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I continued to remind myself , I  said… Neither was all those years trying to figure out how I was going to get high today!

So could I do it? Could I really find the strength, resources and opportunity to overcome the past? Yes! It was there, I just had to find a way to take advantage of the limited resources available, but they were there to help me and you.

How do I start over, well I started over many different times and succeeded and failed many times.  The first obvious thing was to not use, fight the cravings and stick to the plan. My plan after so many failed attempts was to do opposite everything I had done before, which mostly consisted of not listening to the advice of those who were winning in their recovery. So I spent time in painful reflection of my life as I worked the 12 step program, met new people in recovery and built a solid foundation of the recovery I have today which is closing in on 16yrs.

The next part of the plan was all the retraining I needed of life skills never developed to have a positive life. Meditation, prayer, school and work became very important daily parts as I rebuilt my life from the ground up and so can you.

So wear the new you proudly and never look back, the old you is no longer there.

Best of Luck in your recovery,

Rose

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Faith in a Higher Power

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In the rooms of both AA and NA we hear that finding Faith in a Higher Power is important, that thru this spiritual relationship you will find the courage and strength to move forward in your recovery even with the unknown infront of you.

This is very true for most, a blind Faith to continue forward and take on all that we had once feared. A higher power of our understanding is what the book says and trust that as you move on in recovery things will work out for you. This too is true though God isn’t going to do all the work for you. He will give you strength and guidance if you listen closely but you must do the work.

Those first few days when our bodies wreath in pain as we go through detox  and we beg God to make the pain stop, it will stop but not before the poison is out of our bodies. Then we beg God to help us get our lives back on track but how do we do that when we have nothing to start over with… With God all things are possible. So do you sit there hoping God is just going to lay a job and housing in your lap or do you go out there and change your situation in order to win that new job. I had to go back to school for a bit in order to get the job I wanted, so I figured out how to make it happen.

But first I had to address the health issues I now had after years of polluting my body with drugs and bad behaviors. All the while trying to not get discouraged as my Higher Power said, slow down! It won’t be repaired over night!

So back to Faith!!!

Faith, that if I just stayed clean and sober for today, if I continued to do the next right thing, that my life would change… in time!

Faith in your Higher Power is something I recommend you find and create a private relationship thru meditation, prayer and other spiritual enlightenment… it does make a difference in how you will feel about where you are going on your path called LIFE!

Best of everything in your daily reprieve called Recovery!

Rose

 

Stigma of addiction 

Don’t be ashamed of myself for what I went through? I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that an yes it is much easier said than done. 

The long term stigma attached to addiction is often hard to overcome, many of us believe that there is no going back to the world or a normal life. 

The scars left behind both physically and emotionally can cause doubt n fear. But ur story might just be the thing someone else needs to hear at that very moment. 

Sharing ur story may also lighten ur own pain as u take it’s power over you. I have found strength in sharing Hope w others and knowing that my life story may just be the deterant for another to avoid a lifetime of abuse brings me joy not shame. 

Sharing is caring ❣

I wish everyone success in recovery 🌟

May God prevail against evil ❤🌹❣

Grateful recovering Addict

I have crawled, run and fell down many times over the years finding my recovery path. But the results were so worth the struggles to get here.

Please just keep going forward and trust in yourself and your worth, recovery isn’t just putting down drugs or alcohol it’s about, being “OK”

with who you are today in sobriety.

Life is fun and glorious though
you must want it to be
completely that
4 it 2 work. 🌹

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Freed from it’s grasp

Recovery, freed me from the grip of addiction. It gave me a new soul and start in life. My old self but a distant memory of horror’s my mind no longer wants or needs to remember. That place in time which brought me terrible pain, self-inflicted pain I must admit, see after that first trip through Rehab I knew what was required of me, to have a life in recovery.

Though it was difficult, I finally overcame my addiction. Years I fought my addiction, painstaking days searching for a way to avoid a reality I did not want to face. I lived in the shadows of death. Freed now from it’s grasp, I can walk free from fears of the law, I can walk free from the fears of; is today the day I die from a drug overdose and someone finds my body in some alley or that lot I awoke in that day from that: One Last Time …seizure/OD…. I suffered.

Or is today the day I can walk among the normal people and feel a part of society again. A place I can once again have pride in the life I lead, my children and family that now want me to be part of their lives. These dreams we have carried for years as we struggled with finding the strength to overcome our addictions. Now can be part of our reality, daily lives knowing we have achieved sobriety. Cleansed from the infirmities of the past.

Recovery brought me freedom from the grips of addiction… It can do the same for each of you. Blessings today, Rose

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Repentance

Repentance is a daunting thing, something that seems almost impossible to achieve for those of us who have walked the road of truly evil things. How do we find the strength to let go of those things that haunt our souls? How do we let in the healing strength to be redeemed first from ourselves and then by those we love? How do we find the strength to ask for forgiveness? Because the longer we hide our inequities the longer they tear at our souls. Proverbs says: “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”

There have been many ugly thing’s, atrocity’s I have committed during my years of addiction, things I wish to have stayed buried forever, though keeping them hide only made me sicker inside, this secret that tore at me daily trying to remember what I said last to whom. This charade made my life even more tiring then the life I was living and I couldn’t stand the grip it had on me any longer. Without exposing these things, much like the step of making amends that is quoted in the big books of AA and NA we can not grow. You have heard the old adage; we’re only as sick as our secrets. Yes I suppose there may be some things that are better left unsaid to some, but for my own well being and yours as well I hope, you will share this burden, if only to your higher power. Because it is in this sharing that you will find the strength to let go of that hold on your soul that haunts you late at night.

By letting go of the past, it frees us to move into a new light, a new joy and happiness. These are the hopes and dreams we have carried for so very long, this serenity in your soul is obtainable, if you search for it and believe you deserve to receive it, this Redemption from our past is possible and calling to God to fill our hearts with joy and gladness we can once again have good things in our lives, a peace where those burdens of the past are no longer carried within us, as it serves no good purpose any more. So let go and let God… embrace a new life share your pains and joys, let in the light so it may shine out of you, onto others.

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Back from the Edge

Day’s I agonized over the direction that my life was heading, those fleeting moment’s between the place I was, when reality took hold of my sense’s for that ever brief second and I could see what I had reduced my life to and the ugly it held all around me, both internally and physically. The stench of the back alley I walked or the filth I considered myself to now be, lost in this world of addiction.

A place just before, the rush of that drug  I just took in so I could erase all the guilt or shame I had felt, a place of safety I now lived in or so it seemed, because it was just easier then the work they say it is going to take, to recover from this life I was now living.

Agonizing over family that missed me, my children who wanted to know if I would ever come back home to love them once again. Painful memories I just wanted to forget, thoughts to horrible to face or deal with I believed, a crushing pain that haunts every moment. These had to be why I used, or started to at the beginning right, those self-defeating words that kept me down in the pit of hell and addiction.

Back from the edge… this was the only real choice to fix any of those things that tore my life apart for so long, years of pain stemming from childhood, days and years of bad choices must no longer hold me, if I was to recover. So I prayed for strength and asked my hp – GOD … to help me.

I left those pains there on that cliff and backed away from them, as I watched over the years from a safe distance to see what would happen, if I could really leave them behind me, that safety net of oblivion that surrounded me for as long as I could remember.

Those pains and mistakes, the guilt and shame of all the ugly I had caused, it began to fade like it just melted into the cliff, maybe it even just blew away in a harsh wind to never bother anyone again. I now had hope that I could conquer my addiction and be the person I was always meant to be, that mom, wife and daughter lost for so many years.

So there on that cliff I backed away slowly and as time elapsed I found a new me hiding not far away, waiting for me to embrace all that my God promised would be there for me, if I only believed it possible. Blind Faith in a power greater than me…

Grateful today to know that no matter why I may have started using, I’ll never forget why I stopped!!!!     Yes because my addiction was killing me, obviously…

More so I’m grateful because of the awesome feeling I have today from all I have achieved over these years, my life is not perfect but I have just what I need today, food, clothing, housing, and work, but more than that I have a new life, filled with happiness and joy of the woman I found out there on that cliff. One whom is proud of where I am and glad from where I came, because today I can share with others a message and let them know that there is HOPE!

Recovery is worth any struggle you may face as you rebuild your life, that last year of jail for me was essential to the place I am at today and I pray daily to never lose touch with just how important my past was to the recovery I have maintained, because daily we must pray for our sobriety, because just for today… Sobriety must be and is a lifestyle change, everything about what I left on that cliff I must never return to or desire.

Grateful today I can share a message of recovery, faith and hope, as I reach out to others, please know … it started by me reaching inward and letting go of that which was no longer serving me, in my recovery.

I quit because I was worth it and I hope to inspire others to realize they too are worth it…

You are worth it, but only you can save You, please have Faith in yourself and trust in God to help save you when all else seems hopeless and reach from him, I promise he is there waiting for you.

God grant me the Serenity, to accept the things I can not Change and the courage to change the things I can, and most importantly…

The WISDOM to now the difference !!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings today for each of you, Rose

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spirituality, life's journey, abuse, addictions, mental health, alcoholism